Jealousy

It will be 4 months tomorrow, and it's hard to believe that much time has gone by. The last week and a half has been the hardest since the funeral. On July 16, Ryan's grandmother passed away. We were with her as she stepped into eternity. I have recently read a book where the author states, "suffering and loss make life a little less sweet and death a little less bitter." This statement is so very true. You know that your entire outlook on life has been flipped upside down when you watch someone pass away, and you find yourself being jealous of them. When she took her last breath, she was stepping into the presence of our Savior and my daughter. I desperately long for the day when I can do the same (don't worry- I would never cause that to happen). His grandmother's funeral was extremely difficult; all the raw pain and emotions were multiplied. I felt like I was experiencing Macie's funeral all over again.
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Besides the funeral, we are also dealing with some extended family disagreements, a conflict with a neighbor, and to top it all off, Macie's headstone still hasn't been delivered and set up. A dear relative told us to look at these circumstances as God given distractions. These trials force us to take some of the focus off the intense pain and direct it elsewhere. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how distracted I will be with Maice's birthday approaching. August 10th should be her 8th birthday. Please keep our family in your prayers as we approach another difficult day.